Critical communication skills,  good relationships. Almost all couples who come for counseling request help with communication. They may have other presenting problems, but inevitably almost all desire improved communication.

This is an area in life that needs to improve for all of us. Two steps forward and one back…but let’s keep going forward! If we want to become good communicators the last skill to develop is talking!! Here are some simple pointers for all of us. Elementary principles, when followed,bring profound results


Communications skills, good listeners invest in good relationships and happy marriages.

  1. Be Patient, calm. Develop the ability to maintain your composure when feeling strong emotion. If you are prone to escalate or to shut down let’s work on that and improve your abilities.
  2. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. This may sound difficult, but people are naturally reciprocal. When we feel really understood, we reach out to understand the other.
  3. Communication is a two-way street. To develop win/win relationships, find out what the other person needs, and what winning means to them. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
  4.  Eye contact, engage in listening, focus on the speaker’s experience, not yours. Give undivided attention, quality time.
  5.  Allow your feelings, and deny yourself defensiveness.
  6. Touch your partner
  7.  Repeat what you think you heard to check for accuracy. We all OFTEN interpret what we hear through our insecure parts. If you assume or jump to conclusions the discussion becomes emotional ping pong, not communication. Remember critical communication skills, good relationship.
  8.  Ask your partner what is needed from you.
  9.  Reflect what you think you hear, include your own feelings.

Remember Communications skills are critical; strive for good relationships and an extraordinary marriage.


Give me a call, let’s begin and conversation regarding what your needs are. Do not settle or be complacent, strive to reach your potential in a relationship with excellent communication.