Should I breakup?
Ending a relationship can be an agonizing decision. From my experience as a Relationship Therapist allow me to offer some critical points to consider:
* You have different values regarding critical issues in life;
For example- Religion,Ethics, Life Goals, Raising children, Drugs & alcohol, financial choices,how you speak to and treat each other, values related to faithfulness.
Many say relationships are all about work and compromise. You can expect negotiation- to a point. It makes sense to negotiate on the color of the dining room wall,which movie to see on Friday night or who’s going to do cleaning. But it’s a whole different ball game when it comes to more significant matters such as: a home in the suburbs or condo in the city, children or no children, the timing of marriage and children or how money should be spent or saved.
+ If you and your partner are on opposite sides of the spectrum on these topics or the timing of these issues – you will probably be unhappy if you stay together+
I emphasize timing because often both partners can want similar things but have very different time frames for them. For example, she might be thinking she wants to be in a relationship that leads to marriage in the next 18 months while he is thinking he wants to be in a relationship that leads to marriage in five years.
Don’t let the fear of possibly being single prevent you from having these conversations. It’s a proven fact that relationships have higher success rate with couples that share similar values and goals. Should I breakup or keep investing in the relationship.
* You are not both committed to Success.
For a relationship to be successful, both individuals must be committed to self-sacrifice, compromise, and problem-solving without rejection or abandonment.
* You do not trust each other. Both of you must conduct yourself in a trustworthy manner, and trust the other. Check for information and intentions without jumping to conclusions. One of the best things about being in a relationship is that you have someone you can fully trust in.
* Either of you attack the self-esteem or character of the other when you are upset. You want to be with a partner that knows you are not perfect but treats you like you are. Being in love should enhance your sense of openness and receptivity. You don’t need to be in a relationship so much that you need to sacrifice your sense of self. Respect,respect, respect.
In the end, the relationship you have with yourself is more crucial than the relationship you have with another person. Should I breakup?
If any of these Red Flags are ongoing issues in your relationship begin Relationship Counseling immediately, or extinguish what is holding you back and make a change. You have a choice.
Both partners committed to improving a relationship can work through most issues, but it any of the Red Flags above does change, give serious consideration to ending the relationship.