Love and pleasing are wonderful. To be loving and to enjoy pleasing others are beautiful characteristics. The problem is when Love and pleasing dominate all motivation and behavior without appropriate boundaries and self-respect. This pattern in relationship is the common opposite of a controller pattern.
It is more common for women to play this role in a relationship with a controlling man.
In this pattern the person always is thinking of other people before they think of themselves, stress stockpiles.
Everything the individual thinks or says is processed with the underlying thought “what will others think, what do others want, what do I have to do or say to make sure they are happy.” Self-care causes stress.
Anxiety Disorders, Depression, Chronic Fatigue and other energy depletion disorders are common with this pattern. //revelationcounseling.com/relationship-tips-5/
If you are concerned that you may be a “pleaser” ask someone close to you who you believe is objective. Get some feedback from someone who is emotionally sound and cares about your best interest. In relationships are you true to yourself? Do you speak up when something is important to you? Do you compromise your own values to please others? Do you fear that if you do not act loving or do what the other wants you will be alone?
These are important questions, I am happy to process them with you and to help you discern if this is your relational pattern. Remember relational patterns can improve, change and we can grow in relationship skills throughout our life. If you have concerns about your relationships, do not be complacent. You can determine change and move toward it.
