COMPATIBILITY
Couples, consider companionship and ask yourselves these questions;
- Can we let our guard down & be silly or impulsive?
- Are either of us ever hurtful, physically or emotionally, in the way we play?
- Are we so focused on fun than we cannot be serious or responsible?
- Do we share important interests?
- Are individual interests supported by each of us?
Timeliness
How many relationship arguments have started over being on time? If you both can’t make anything on time, you’ll be happy together. But if one of you is punctual and the other isn’t, it’s a recipe for conflict.
Cleanliness
People who are neat and orderly often find it difficult to live with someone who is sloppy. And people who don’t put much time or effort into cleanliness don’t often care that it means something to others. Maybe you compromise, assign tasks or responsibilities, make a plan together so the issue does not divide you.
Money
More couples argue about money and finances than anything else. If he’s a spender and she’s a saver, that could mean trouble down the road when you’re planning for life’s bigger purchases, such as a house, cars or your children’s future education.
Couples who are on the same page with their money and finances will usually be more compatible than those with different spending behaviors.
Intimacy
How many articles have been written about the importance of sex and intimacy in a relationship? It may be hard to gauge how sexually compatible you are at the beginning of a relationship, since sex is usually more of a shared enjoyment then. But as the newness wears off, it’s a good time to gauge whether your sexual needs and desires are truly similar.
Like money, talking about your own personal sexual desires and needs may be challenging. But the sooner you do it and figure out if the two of you are sexually compatible long-term, the quicker you can know whether you share this compatibility. Incompatibility in the bedroom is the second most-common reason for long-term relationship discord.
Life Priorities
Different people work and live at different tempos in life. Discovering and acknowledging your own personal tempo is an important step to finding someone with a similar and compatible tempo.
Some people are laid-back and let little get to them, while others take every one of life’s challenges to heart. Some people value work, seeing no problem in working 12-hour days, while others value spending time with family and one’s children. Are you the kind of person who’s okay with “being” with your partner while the two of you have your heads down in technology?
If you’re on the same page about what your life’s priorities are, you’ll find you’ll have a lot less arguments about these kinds of issues. Sharing life will be easier as you progress through life at the same tempo.
Religion
Many people who come from two different religious backgrounds make their relationship work. However, talk to such couples and you’ll find most of the agree it can sometimes be a challenge — especially if children are involved. If one partner in the couple isn’t going to convert to the other person’s religion and both partners are religious people, you’ll usually have ongoing conflict.
Companionship that is successful is a blend of taking responsibility in relationship, and enjoying each other. Take care that the pressure of everyday life does not squeeze enjoyable companionship from your relationship. Companionship is made up of embracing differences/mutual respect/shared life goals/agreeing regarding priority values/healthy differences/balancing unity and space.
Copyright ©2014 Marta