1. Need to Feel Respected

Treat children with courtesy, consideration, and esteem.

Treating children as individuals with respect, this teaches them how to treat others well.

When children are treated without respect, they often think that something is wrong with them. If you were treated poorly as a child, do not treat children the same way. Ask for help to speak and act in ways that will help them to be strong and confident. These are crucial needs of children.

  • Rudeness and Lack of Courtesy
    Speak to children with the same tone of voice you would like them to use with you. If you are tired or angry, take a breath and calm yourself first. Then, use courtesy as you do with adults you respect. Children have feelings too, and they will grow to show respect if they are respected.
  • Dishonesty
    Be truthful when speaking to children. Do not lie even if it seems easier, they will not trust you. They will learn to speak in truth and resist lying if others have tried to be truthful with them. When you feel you cannot tell the child something, you might say;

    This is really adult business, I need to make the choice on my own.

    I am making the best decision I can and I need to talk to someone my age about it, I will always tell you anything I can.

    This situation is being well handled, you do not need to worry about it. It is my responsibility, not yours.

  • No calling names
    Bad or insulting names cause a child to believe something is wrong with them. If they believe something is wrong with them they are less able to do good things for themselves and for others.
    When a child believes he or she has value, they will be better listeners, follow directions more often, and seek to please those caring for them.
  1. Need To Feel Important

Children and adults want to feel that they have value, that what they do makes a difference. It is important to be useful. Children need to make choices and have responsibilities appropriate to their ability. These are crucial needs of children.

  • Important and strong
    When you direct a child to a task, let them know they are able to do it because they are
    If they know you believe in them, they will do better
  • Assign jobs
    Choose tasks the child is able to do so they are an important member of the family or group
    Teach them that each child is also important
  • Share responsibility
    Biggest responsibilities should be done by adults,  give responsibilities to children by their age
  • Listen to the child
    Give attention when he or she speaks, they way you would like to be listened to
    This teaches the child that good listening is expected of them 
  1. Need To Feel Accepted

Each child is a unique individual. Some are very active, some are quiet. Some children talk often, some speak very little.  Children have their own thoughts and feelings. These are crucial needs of children;

  • Welcome the child’s individual ways, use encouraging words rather than critical word
    Try not to compare children to each other
  • Do not call names
    Do redirect or correct children using respectful words
  • Allow your child to say how they feel even if you do not feel the same way or agree
    Teach them to follow the example you provide by speaking with respectful words
  • Correct children in a way that helps them see a better way
    Offer choices that would be better and acceptable to you
  • Set limits without speaking in a demeaning manner, so your child feels accepted even when redirected

  1. Children Need To Feel Included

Children need to feel included in the family or the group. When a child knows that he or she is an important part of the group, the child will be strong and helpful. All people develop their feelings of confidence or of insecurity based on how the closest people treat them while they grow up.

  • If a conversation is not too grown up for the child, invite them to join you. Allow them to listen and be included as long as the topic is not too grown up for them
  • If you see a child often alone, ask them to join what you are doing. The child might have been left out or rejected and that can be bad for them
  • Ask your child what they think and what ideas they have. This shows the child that he or she is important and that you are interested in them
  • Watch to see that the child is not left out or left behind
  • Be aware of what the group is doing and watch for the child’s best interest
  • Include them in activities of the community. Let them know if people are getting together or go find them and bring them with you
  1. Children Need To Feel Secure

It is very important to keep children safe. They need to be taken care of while they are learning how grownups keep themselves safe. There are times when a parent should intervene; //

  • Teach them who they should speak to, and who they should not talk to
    Do not frighten them, but teach guidelines for staying safe
  • Show them the area which is safe for them and what boundaries they should not cross
    This might be a fence, a property line, a sidewalk. Whatever represents the area inside of which they should stay.
  • Good limits help children to feel secure as long as they are not over-restricted
    Knowing where to be and what is the right way to talk and to act helps children
  • Try to be consistent in setting limits and in allowing appropriate freedom
    There are exceptions which are good. But most of the time children should be given the same limits and freedoms so they know what is expected.
  • Show equal affection to each of your children
    Each person is different and affection is shown in various ways. Try to be fair and not develop favorites.
  • Practice the traditions, rituals and celebrations of your people. These habits help children to feel secure, and grow into secure adults. Looking forward to events, holidays or special occasions is good for children
  • Give children reasonable consequences for wrong choices so they will learn to do what is right
  • Do not ever discipline a child with mean words or hurt them physically. A consequence is important to teach that all actions cause consequences. It is not to hurt the child emotionally or physically. These are crucial needs of children.
  • Children