by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Dr. Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have participated in conferences and speaking engagements across the country sharing the concepts in this book. The conferences were launched in 1999. The book, “Love and Respect” is an inspiring and encouraging book for couples who are engaged or married. The message of this writing is very effective.

The goals of this book are to stop the Crazy Cycle of Conflict, initiate the Energizing Cycle of Change, and to enjoy the Rewarded Cycle of the new passion. Dr. Eggerichs contends that a wife’s top priority is the driving need to feel loved. He also contends that a husband’s top priority is the driving need to feel respected.

In the first section of this book, he describes the dynamics which cause crazy communication problems between couples. Couples are helped to recognize the unhealthy interactions which damage communication. His writing style is clear and practical.

The next section of the book portrays the process of The Energizing Cycle. Six key skills for both the husband and wife are presented and described. Dr. Eggerichs states on Page 260, “ If a husband memorizes and uses even one or two of them each day, he will do his part in keeping the Energizing Cycle going, a wife…uses these six concepts to let him know how important and vital he is to her.”

This third section is based on the emphasis that if the man and woman are both people of basic goodwill, they can use Love and Respect principles to make a bad relationship into a good one and a good relationship into a great one. Choosing to trust, and acting on that trust is foundational. The Rewarded Cycle gives the answers to how to show love unconditionally, and how to show respect unconditionally. Consistency and long-term success are explored.

Dr. Eggerichs has based these concepts on over three decades of counseling, as well as scientific and biblical research. He believes that love alone does not carry a relationship through the challenges of life in a happy and successful way. Love is vital, but sound principles which nurture and enrich marriage are imperative.

In my private practice, the feedback from couples regarding this resource has been consistently favorable. This includes engaged couples, victims of affairs, those wanting to stay happily married, and those in conflict. If you are looking for a counselor for couples therapist to improve your relationship, call Revelation Counseling.