Holidays and Relationships; Relationships and the Holidays, will your experience be positive or negative? Talk about what you each prioritize and how you each feel about the options. If there are more activities than you can imagine, decide together when to respond, “Thank you so much, but we are unable to attend.”
Protect quality time with your partner, time for just the two of you. During holiday business we may push our relationship time to the bottom of the list and this is when we need each other the most. Touch base often to make sure that you are both on the same page, happy with the plans you have made. Be flexible so you can modify the schedule as needed.
Keep communication open, be aware of your partner’s feelings, even during holiday activities. Talk about which family members, friends or activities will be difficult. It can sometimes be uncomfortable for your partner when stuck at a party where you know the majority of the people. Be thoughtful of one another before events, make a plan together.
Holidays and Relationships; Do not expect your partner to read your mind. This is one of the biggest problems I see in couples therapy. This is why it is valuable to discuss events before you go. If you need your partner’s help with something, ask. Each of you are responsible FOR what you think, what you feel, what you say, what you do and what you need. Your partner is responsible TO you, regarding everything you have discussed. Mutual understanding and agreement is the goal, do not expect your partner to read your mind!
Extroverts-make sure your partner gets enough quiet time. Be thoughtful, do not sign up for every possible event. Introverts-step just outside of your comfort zone and try to attend more functions during holidays if it is important to your partner. Embrace the difference and you will both be happy!
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