People are created to exist in relationship, not alone. But relationship addiction is dangerous. However it is critical to develop an essential relationship with self. Individuality, perspective, beliefs, values, attachment style, preferences, aversions, and much more are part of who we are as a whole person. Two whole people are able to enter an interdependent relationship of the free will, not driven by needs or fears.
The relationship addict is terrified of self and strives to compensate through a relationship. These relationships usually involve unhealthy people, and a pattern of similar relationships occurs. The unfulfilled relationship dynamic with another person does not result in a better outcome, and the cycle repeats. //revelationcounseling.com/relationship-addiction/
Fear of abandonment, rejection and a sense of inadequacy are the core of this addiction. These fears usually distort the reality of what the relationship is like, and the addict insists that the relationship is the answer for them. The relationship addict is lacking affirmation, assistance, identity and connection so meeting these needs through the relationship drives the addict.
Relationship addiction; Addicts feel panic and anxiety when out of relationship, like he or she cannot breathe until wanted again. Healthy relationships encompass a variety of experiences for both people, but the addict primarily feels relief. The relationship is everything and nothing will be spared to maintain it.
Unhealthy people stay in relationship with the addict as long as their needs are being submitted to. Healthy people are alienating by the smothering of the addict. The sense of self is tied to relationship, so when it ends the addict feels lost.
To break the cycle the addict begins a path of personal growth and recovery of self. Attending Codependent 12 step groups, learning about boundaries, attending counseling, pursuing interests that had been abandoned, and a healthy accountability partner can be helpful steps. If you are concerned that you may be addicted to relationships, seek consultation from a psychotherapist specializing in relationships.